10/21/16 2:52pm
Gregg T. loves topical Halloween humor. edited by Sam Corbin

Gregg T. loves topical Halloween humor. edited by Sam Corbin

Hot take: Halloween isn’t for everybody. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great holiday. It just favors creatives and DIY experts to a fault. Many people are Hallo-wise enough to start planning their costume for the following year on Nov. 1. — and if you’re one of those people, more power to you! — but that leaves the rest of us lazybones procrastinators feeling somehow underprepared to party alongside everyone else. Unless you’re engaging in cosplay-levels of credible costumery, you’ve got to come up with something funny that’ll pass for effort.

Brokelyn knows this better than anyone, having rolled up to countless Halloween parties both in and out of hastily-cobbled costume ourselves. We don’t like to see you suffer on a holiday that should be meant for pure enjoyment and spooky revelry, so we’ve put together a comprehensive list of last-minute, low-cost costumes that harken to relatable themes and memes of 2016.

[You’ll note as you go that in our humble opinion, the best Halloween costumes are visual puns, or ones that take only a single punchline to explain. So, while these costumes may not win you every costume contest in town, they’re sure to get you a few laughs at every party you go to, and they’re simple enough to recycle from night to night. They also *probably* won’t get copied by someone else, unless that someone also read this article.] (more…)

10/21/16 1:31pm
Drink and eat all you want and just pay by the hour at Glass Hour. Via Facebook.

Drink and eat all you want and just pay by the hour at Glass Hour. Via Facebook.

Loitering has been a problem for coffee shop owners for so long that we’ve gone through several cycles of addressing it in New York City. First came limiting laptop hours and eliminating outlets, then things like timed wifi. Britcom hit Fleabag skewered the annoying laptop camper in its inaugural season this summer, which means it’s far from just an American thing. It’s a tough balance for businesses to strike between enabling the long, languorous cafe afternoons that can be good for productivity and community while also limiting the freeloaders who just want your wifi and free coffee refills while they turn a table into their personal office space.

But what if a cafe embraced lingerers instead of chasing them out? That’s the premise of Glass Hour, a new “anti-cafe” and “new-age working space” that opened in Williamsburg on Aug. 26, where customers can eat, drink and play their games as much as they want; they pay by the hour they spend there, not by what they consume. It’s a hybrid of a coworking space and a coffee shop. But will it work?  (more…)

10/21/16 10:38am
The bot form of Jimmy McMillan wants to help you find an apartment.

The bot form of Jimmy McMillan wants to help you find an apartment (Archibald the parrot helps too).

Jimmy McMillan has an enduring allure to him, especially at this moment in history, perhaps because he reminds us of a time when our, let’s say, more unorthodox candidates weren’t seen as a direct threat to democracy and everything we hold dear. Most people started seeing McMillan’s Chester A. Arthur mutton chops and pro wrestler swagger during his notable bid for governor in 2010, when he ran on the Rent Is Too Damn High ticket, which also happened to be his catchphrase and only memorable platform. It was the “make America great again” for a kinder, simpler age. We’ve seen a decent amount of him since then: he talked about running for mayor, dropped a fairly fire anthem (for a politician, at least), traveled the world in doll form, occasionally shopped at Trader Joe’s on Court Street and announced in December he would retire from politics. This month he’s back in a new role, though along the same theme: Helping you find an apartment in a city where the rent only keeps getting higher.

Apartment hunting startup Joinery worked with McMillan to create Jimmybot, a free Jimmy McMillan-inspired Facebook bot that helps you search for apartments in your price range. McMillan appears in videos for the service, including one where he advises that if you had your own apartment, you wouldn’t walk in on him having sex with your mother to the tunes of Teddy Pendergrass.

“A lot of it was completely just ad libbed,” Joinery cofounder Julia Ramsey said of the videos. “He was totally into the idea, he’s been sort of in and out of politics for so long. His central platform that the cost of living is too high in New York, and I would tend to agree.” (more…)

10/20/16 3:00pm
One of these raving pizza lunatics could be you. Via Facebook.

One of these raving pizza lunatics could be you. Via Facebook.

Odds are that there are very few people reading Brokelyn who are fans of Pizza Hut, seeing as eating chain pizza in New York City is basically violence, or college sports, because we’ve tried to serve you guys sports content before and you nerds aren’t into it, we get it. But there are definitely lots of you who love money and travel, so we’re going to tell you about this gig anyway. Pizza Hut, home to one of Donald Trump’s first publicly shameful moments, is looking for a “Pizza Hut All-American,” a sports fan who is willing to go to as many NCAA Division I championships they can this school year while doing some social media for the Hut. With 90 games in all, that means everything from the Final Four and the Frozen Four to the College Baseball World Series and the beach volleyball championship. And you get $50,000 for it. (more…)

10/20/16 2:25pm
Get witchy with Reverend Mother Flash (#4)

Get witchy with Reverend Mother Flash (#4)

1. Booze it up at this month’s BHS Free Friday: Oktoberfest, with Brooklyn beer history from the archives, a beer tasting with Brooklyn Brewery, a screening of Beauty and the Beer, and more. (Friday, Brooklyn Historical Society, FREE)

2. Giggle demurely at LAWL: Ladies and Women Laughing, an all-gal comedy show with Jenny Nelson, Keisha Zollar, Rachel Joravsky, and Nayomi Reghay. (Friday, New Women Space, $10)

3. Go on an odd journey to Wonder Island: The Pointless Sock Pursuit, which promises capers, historical artifacts, tight coconuts, and more strangeness. (Friday, Cloud City, $5) (more…)

10/20/16 12:59pm
Get nasty.

Get nasty.

When life gives you lemons you make lemonade. It follows that when life gave us the current election cycle, many tried to turn a profit on it. Ample Hills kept things chill with candidate-themed ice cream flavors; a number of New Yorkers tried to profit in a different way by putting up Craigslist hookup ads for debate-watch sex; and all over the internet, people started churning out anti-Trump merchandise faster than you could say “bad hombre.”

Because we defend your first amendment right to shout “Trump sucks!” from the rooftops, Brokelyn has rounded up the best of said joke merchandise on the web right now. If you have a few dollars to spare, donate them to Hillary! But after that, buy yourself one of these neat items. You deserve it for sitting through last night’s presidential debate without imploding. (more…)

10/20/16 11:18am

hillary clinton benghazi brush your shoulders off brush yo shoulders off brushes shouldersMercifully, the final presidential debate is over but cruelly, there are still 19 days left until the actual election because it turns out there’s no mercy rule in politics so they can’t call this thing early and let everyone vote now. The problem with Trump’s likely defeat at this point is how much carnage he’s willing to create on his way to the loser’s circle, how many mangled carcasses of decency and American political decorum he’s willing to leave by the roadside in his kamikaze last few days.

Election burnout is real; we have in some sense been in this campaign since for a staggering 14 months already, as the first Republican primary was held in August of 2015, if you can even remember a time that far back. That’s not even factoring in the actual physical and mental stress this election is creating, with therapists reporting a spike in Trump-related anxiety and survivors of sexual assault being forced to relive their own trauma over and over again just by watching the news. I have seen several female friends, more than half seriously, ask whether you can sue a presidential candidate for emotional distress.

You deserve a day off, we all deserve a day to breathe after this election and remind ourselves there is a real world outside of politics and tweets and just batshit weird tweets about politics. So let’s dub Nov. 9 a new Adult Skip Day and give ourselves a break; you’re probably not taking enough vacation days anyway.  (more…)

10/19/16 4:00pm
Illustration by Shaylyn Berlew.

Illustration by Shaylyn Berlew.

Yelp, Google Maps, that imperious Zagat: none of them truly know Brooklyn as well as you do. This is why we’re putting the intoxicating power of direct democracy in your hands. The election may still be a few weeks away, but one election is already on. Through Friday (Oct. 21), you can cast your vote for the Best in Brooklyn, weighing in on your favorites in restaurants, food, bars and nightlife. Along with our sister publication The Brooklyn Home Reporter, we are canvassing Brokelyn readers for their picks of the top spots borough wide. Got a pick for best vegan bakery? A go-to first date spot? A concert venue that’s always fire emoji or an authentic Italian spot that out-sauces the trendy new spots? Show it some love!

Hundreds of businesses are nominated and thousands of readers vote each year, but there will only be one first-place winner in each category that gets Best of Brooklyn. Voting ends at midnight Oct. 21, so be sure to cast your ballot! Click HERE to cast your votes. We won’t even make you sit through weeks of attack ads first. (more…)

10/19/16 3:00pm
The only thing left to do is get fucked. via IG user @kaali1204

And the only thing left to do is get fucked. via IG user @kaali1204

The election has now reached a point of insanity where it feels more like a natural disaster than a political event. And as with any natural disaster — following the initial wave of panic it engenders, anyway — people eventually start trying to use it as an excuse to have sex.

A quick search on Craigslist proves that that’s exactly what’s happening with the final debate tonight in New York City: Superstorm Clinton vs. Trump has led to the inevitable rise of “debate sex.”

As you can probably infer from the name, debate sex involves having sex while watching the presidential debate. We doubt it could be as fun as playing our drinking game, but it’s certainly another way to alleviate the stress of actually watching the thing. If you’ve been swiping fruitlessly through Tinder for a like-minded liberal, the Craigslist  personal might be your next best bet … especially if you don’t think you can stand to master debate alone.  (more…)

10/19/16 2:00pm
You're gonna need this.

You’re gonna need this.

You may be feeling a lot of anxiety going into tonight’s final presidential debate, and that’s completely understandable. Presidential debates are both serious and consequential, and in this election cycle one orange-haired outcome is truly dire.

That’s why we created our favorite coping mechanism, the Brokelyn Debates drinking game (which we’ve updated for the final round). You might remember our game from the last election between O-bummer and Mitt Zombie. Everyone knows that politics is better when you’re tipsy, so why not make it official with a few rules and regulations that’ll help you deal with everything that comes out of anyone’s mouth tonight?

Unlike the debate itself, nothing you do in this game is going to affect who becomes our next president. The game is fully playable and within your rights to modify if you start vomiting halfway through. Print out this post or pull it up on your smartphones to play during the debates, either at one of these watch parties in BK or on your very own free stream at home. Cheers to democracy!  (more…)